“Money” – Don’t Let It Ruin Your Relationship Or Your Marriage 

  It’s no hidden secret that money plays a huge roll in our everyday life.. It’s funny how people can change over money.. Whether it’s a new job – or maybe you just lost your job, to a simple raise at work, a new marriage, maybe you got a promotion at work, and/or you just got into a new relationship and you make more money than your partner does, or maybe a family member just died and you inherited a lot of money.. You have to remember that everyone starts out somewhere.. If you find yourself making a lot of money, be humble about it – because you could lose it all tomorrow.. Yes, everyone is one paycheck away from losing it all.. Just remember that anybody can come up, get educated – and be better than you…

  When it comes to your “relationship” – money will always find a way to make everyone happy, sad, and even at times stressful.. Money is the number one issue that most couples fight about believe it or not – for some odd reason they have trouble and a hard time talking about money.. No matter how much you love one another – disagreements over money or money problems can “destroy” and even “ruin” the best relationships.. If you cant learn to control or talk about “money problems” it can really make or break any relationship fast.. Don’t ignore the topic of money it should be your number one priority and understanding – start talking about it right away, if not it will damage your relationship in the future.. The honest truth is talking about money and being honest about it will always reduce stress in your relationship.. 

  Think about this real quick, if you can relate to this, when everyone is making great money, there’s money in the bank and all the bills are getting paid faithfully every single month and you’re doing whatever it is that you want, nobody is fighting, or yelling about money or losing sleep over it, everyone is content – right? But right when our money starts to run out, and there’s 100 bucks in the bank, that’s when everybody wants to fight and point fingers and play the blame game verses coming up with an honest “real” solution or “answers” to their problems – most of the time people leave their relationship or marriage because of it.. The debt and damage that you helped contribute to the relationship and/or marriage, how is it fair for you to just walk way and leave it all? Should You Stay And Work It Out Or Leave?

A relationship without trust is like a cell phone with no service; all you can do is take pictures and play games.

 

“5 Tips” To Help You With Your Relationship And Your Money 

Lets Talk!

1. Communication

  I can’t stress this enough.. “Communication” is key.. So talk about it – talk it out!! You must never be afraid of speaking up if your partner is doing something or saying things that you don’t like. Having “open communication” will always but not always resolve most relationship issues, simply because this will show your “authority” in the relationship and basically telling your partner, that “I don’t put up with the BS”. Maybe you or your partner try to avoid any confrontation because you’re afraid this might make your partner leave, so trying to “keep the peace”, and walking away from the “real issues” and the “real problems”, will make things better in the relationship. The sad truth is, it will not make your relationship better and stronger, acting like that will actually “kill your relationship”, because there is really “no communication” there, so chances are that any “unresolved issues” and any “unresolved problems” will continue to unfortunately “add up” and unfortunately ending the relationship, because no one is taking the relationship seriously. Talking about the truth and being honest about your relationship this will open up your eyes and let you know real quick if your partner is serious about you, about the relationship or not taking you “the relationship” serious at all. It doesn’t really matter if you’re embarrassed by how much you earn and/or make, or how much money you spend, how much money you have right now in the bank or maybe cash on you, or how much debt you owe – “honesty and communication” is very important if you want to keep a healthy relationship believe it or not.. Understanding each others financial situation, no matter how good or how bad it is – it’s priority.. 

Here are some questions to get you started and consider asking if you’re a new relationship or considering moving in with your partner – it’s a pretty big financial decision and move for both of you!

⦁ What is your income?
⦁ How much debt do you have?
⦁ Have you ever not paid rent on time?
⦁ How will we split rent and utilities?
⦁ Who is in charge of paying each bill?
⦁ Are we going to share a bank account?
⦁ What insurance do we need?
⦁ Who will bring what furniture?
⦁ Will we purchase new furniture together or separately?
⦁ Do we share pet costs?
⦁ Will we be driving one car or two?
⦁ What is the game plan if we break up?
⦁ Plan on going back to school?
⦁ Plan on having a baby?
⦁ Maybe start a business?

 

  The idea is to learn about money together – and understanding each other’s weaknesses and having a “game plan” just to be safe, if all goes wrong – you don’t want to be hurting, angry, and damaged if it doesn’t go as planned.. Do I overspend, Do I have a gambling addiction, Do I have a drug addiction, Do I like to max out my credit cards, I can’t manage my money properly, Do I spend money on video games, or games on my cell phone, etc.. Work on each others weaknesses, these are some things to talk and think about “together”.. Knowing your own flaws will help you have a better relationship with your partner believe it or not.. Once a month – set aside a day and talk about money, “have a money talk day”.. Talk about the future and keep in mind the life that you want, what you’re working towards, and the benefits of the realationship.. 

  Also texting friends, texting family members, and being on social media, and video gaming all day verses spending quality time with your partner, you’re basically avoiding them – this is a relationship killer. Lack of communication can happen for a lot of odd reasons. Usually this happens when everyone gets “comfortable” in the relationship. Now a days video gaming, and being on social media like Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, and TikTok all day for no apparent reason is pretty much the “normal thing” anymore. You have to realize this actually tricks your brain into thinking this “gives you something to do” with your life, because you may or may not be bored or you simply just have nothing else to do.. Maybe you’re on TikTok creating content because in your “real life” or world, you’re not getting the mental and/or emotional support that you’re needing so you might be reaching out and seeking it elsewhere… 

 Maybe encourage your partner to video game with you, browse social media together, share funny TikTok videos with one another, maybe start having “family game night” once a week, where everyone can play board games, video games, anything really game related, to simply get everyone involved. Go work out together, start cooking together, maybe once a week “go out” and have some fun.. It’s also important to know and understand that everybody is different and each individual has their own ways of entertainment, and interests. Respect can only go so far if all your partner is doing on their down time is playing video games – being on social media and you find yourself going to bed alone every night.. Change up that boring routine and involve your loved one in on what you’re doing! 

2. Make Sure The Issue Is Really About Money

  Sometimes disagreements about money tend to have little to do with money itself.. I get it – I understand people get mad and frustrated, sometimes it will spark an outrage and all of a sudden you or “that person”, starts bringing up and talking about “old stuff” that is clearly irrelevant.. It’s often, you have issues of control, self esteem, different hobbies, insecurities, your lifestyle, or personality differences, jealously, “your past” and sometimes love… Yes love, maybe you’re not 100% over your EX, maybe you’re not 100% about your partner, maybe you’re second guessing everything and starting to have second thoughts about the relationship.. Maybe you dont like the fact or idea of being “alone”, so you need someone for that.. Money is a big part of a relationship no doubt about it – so it is easy to mistake your “emotional issues” for money problems.. If you have disagreements learn what is best for you both.. Stop bringing up the past – if it isn’t going to change your life or matter to you in six months – then why are you bringing it up to remind everyone for? I promise you – you will forget about it in six months, and it won’t even matter.. Arguing about petty and dumb stuff is just a waste of time and energy.. Focus on building each other up – rather than bringing each other down..

3. Should I Add My Partner To My Bank Account Or 
Keep It Just Me? 

  If he or she is a spender – that might mean paying for a dream vacation, every other day shopping sprees, and having a new car, they like having nice things it’s more important to them.. If he or she is a saver and not so much of a spender – it could mean that name brands and living cheap also investing and saving money means more to them verses having nice things.. This one is a touchy topic, it’s really a hit or miss and it’s really up to you – it’s your life.. 

  Being in a relationship it really is a “partnership”.. They say splitting the bills or separating the money is a bad idea and may cause more relationship problems down the road – that is very possible (if you’re in a new relationship chances are if you make more money than your partner does – you might want to rethink about sharing bank accounts). Many couples they think the best way to avoid money arguments is to keep separate accounts – they each pay bills separately or they go in 50/50 on everything – right? Seems like a great idea but if you can’t manage your money properly or you seem to overspend, you may find yourself coming up short every month.. But nevertheless, remember to take it slow.. Your life and everything in it is your own – your credit, your money, your belongings, your vehicle, your job and/or business etc.. Never feel pressured to combine accounts, cosign, or share personal information such as logins and passwords, down to that 4 digit pin to your debit card or even your Social Security Number… 

  Getting into a new relationship is very exciting – even if you’re currently in one and sometimes sharing money and/or accounts, credit cards, a car note, even a mortgage, to starting a family, can sometimes make you wonder what will happen if we separate, and many times most couples don’t think about that.. Where in a relationship you have a man who is the bread maker (provides everything for his family) while his wife or girlfriend stays at home – may take care of the kids if any or “vice versa”. Either way just be smart about it.. If things do end up going south and you find yourself needing to leave or “get out”, make sure you don’t get to comfortable where you have nothing to fall back on.. The worst case scenario is for YOU to put everything you had into the relationship – your trust and money, just to find out he or she wasn’t the one and wasn’t worth it..

  An idea to help with this is to set up a “wish-list” savings account where you both can for an example contribute $50 (you can add more or less depending on your current financial situation) into that shared wish-list savings account weekly and/or monthly – This will be used strictly to go out to eat, shopping, movie night and/or date night, etc..

4. Its Real Simple And Very Basic – Set Some Goals

  Consider making separate goals – and see which goals are most important to you and you might even be suprised that you both may even share the same goals… One goal that most couples have is to retire comfortably, others is to quit their job, travel, give more, make more money, maybe you want to start a business and/or start a family. You have to both agree on the goals and really focus on what matters most to you in your life.. This method will rule out real quick if your partner wants to sit around all day and do nothing or is serious about the relationship and wants to add some “real value” to it..

5. KIDS Don’t Let Them Run Your Life

  When it comes to Birthdays and Christmas we tend to go “all out” for our kids.. Honestly it’s not really necessary.. To your children “Christmas means getting a bunch of new toys and/or clothes, etc..” but do they know the real meaning of Christmas that goes beyond Santa and his bag of toys?? It means the “gift of life” or the birth of Jesus – the Christmas Tree is the sign of life or growth and happiness and today or “present” we give thanks for being alive. Christmas morning children run to the Christmas Tree to just open up a bunch of “materialistic” things that in a month or two they will more then likely just forget about it, break it or give it away. We exchange “gifts” because “God sent us the most precious gift” – and that’s life.. 

  You aren’t wealthy until you have something money can’t buy – your kids they’re a true blessing no doubt.. So understanding that toys are only materialistic items – your kids will out grow them one day, and sadly money can’t buy you “time”.. It’s good to have money and the things that money can buy – but you also don’t want to lose out on what money can’t buy.. You need to learn to set limits and when it comes to your kids, you should enforce the “reward for good behaviors” – do good get rewarded, do bad they get nothing, same for report-cards, down to their choirs.. There needs to be an understanding and balance to the very basic foundation when it comes to rewarding your kids – your kids should work towards all those things verses EVERYTHING JUST BEING GIVEN TO THEM.. 

  When it comes to birthdays – it’s very understandable.. But their education, them knowing and understanding right from wrong, and teaching them what life is really like after school is more important then wasting money on “image” or having the best day ever, or having more expensive things, money doesn’t buy happiness. By doing this and/or “disciplining your kids” – this can help them establish a great work ethic – manners – while teaching them how important it is to work for the things that they want in life.. So set a good example and lead the way! Remember what you’re teaching them now is how they will grow up to be and “act”.. Kids who never have any accountability for their actions will continue through life living and thinking nothing is their fault and everything is “OWED” to them…

It’s money who teaches us who’s important and who’s not, even when you have it or you DO NOT..