How To Cope With Death
It’s All About How To Handle Grief, Learning To Accept What Has Happened, And Knowing That “Death” Is Part Of Life
“nurses are there when the last breath is taken and nurses are there when our first breath is taken.. Although it is more enjoyable to celebrate a birth – it is just as important to comfort in death”
Grieving is as natural as the formation of a scab, and in a way it is the process of healing after a painful loss and/or a tragic life event.. Grief, is the most profound emotional pain we’ll ever experience in this life. Everyone experiences grief differently I guess. Regardless of how it affects a person, it will always hurt… What is grief or grieving? It’s basically how you feel inside “emotionally” after the loss of a loved one. Grieving in most cases will develop mental symptoms such as having trouble sleeping, trouble eating, feeling sad, feeling guilty, feeling angry, feeling lost, and you may not be social anymore like you once were, you may find it very difficult to accept and/or “move on”. You may feel like you want to “isolate” yourself from everybody – you may even blame not only yourself but GOD.
Unfortunately, people that experience grief are often “unprepared” for the overwhelming effects it may have on their life, including physical, mental, and emotional strains. First you should always respect your feelings. To fully recover, you must acknowledge your feelings, if you can’t express yourself or maybe you don’t know how to, you can write it down in a journal – this may help the process. Grieving takes time, you need to be more understanding, and be patient and understand that your thoughts and feelings matter.
Everybody handles the grieving process differently. If you take care of yourself and stay productive and stay positive, you will be able to cope with death, and understand that “death” is something that happens in life. During that moment after a passing of a loved one, a child, a parent, a friend, a pet – that experience and sudden loss is something you never truly forget.
“Death leaves a heartache that no one can heal – but love leaves a memory that no one can steal”
I know first hand that a loss is very difficult to handle. It brings anger, sadness, denial, and unfamiliarity. You can’t blame god, and you can’t blame yourself. The aspect is that you didn’t invite any of these “emotions” into your life but now that they’re here and present, you must find a way to deal with them. It is important to understand grief and it’s effects while you’re grieving. Understand that it will lead to acceptance, and acceptance leads to healing. If you can accept it’s existence in the beginning, then you will rejoice greeting the end.
Some people they fall into deep depression where they start using drugs as a way to cope. This is not the answer. Please understand that it doesn’t matter how much you smoke, drink, use “drug of choice”, over-eating, any thoughts to harm yourself, or thoughts that life isn’t worth living anymore, please understand that – “that stuff” or those “negative thoughts” isn’t going to bring your loved one back.. It’s not going to fix and/or change what has happened. Please don’t drown yourself with toxic behavior..
I know you will feel empty inside, and you may feel like you can’t continue living, but trust me, GOD has bigger plans for you, and you must know and understand that everything happens in “your life” for a reason.. Stay strong, and don’t ever give up!
How did I cope with death?
Well first I was in denial. I really didn’t “accept it” for a long time – I just couldn’t believe what was happening. And with time surely but slowly –“awareness” began to appear. Followed by anger and depression, which I found the hardest to handle. I kept asking myself “why” over and over. I did struggle with death and the regret of not being there – I didn’t even say goodbye.. I was struggling to just “understand it” and everything that was happening around me. I felt hurt, alone, confused, and frustrated. I couldn’t eat for weeks, had sleepless nights, bad memory lapses, followed by weight loss, and nightmares. To alleviate the pain that I was feeling, I began to write poems, I started to invest a lot of my time into things that would bring me happiness – or I tried to.
My healing process kind of felt awkward because I found myself crying in front of strangers, and I found myself on social media seeing other families during Thanksgiving and Christmas time, and it was killing me slowly inside. I found that knowing they won’t be around anymore to be the hardest to accept. After months of grieving and trying to not feel guilty and blame myself and others – and it was two years later that I finally understood that “death” is just part of life and I finally accepted it. “Acceptance” really saved me and I knew after my loss that I had accepted that my life is going to change drastically and it will never be the same. Don’t think that you’re life will never be good again – because one day it will, I promise.. It just means that my life had changed, and as a result I changed too..
“Sometimes I just wish you were here so I could hug you and tell you how much I need you, how much I miss you, and how hard every day has been without you.”
As you begin to regain strength and spend less time battling your emotions, you’ll start to realize you’re on the road to “recovery”. You need to keep moving forward – stay positive. Try to discuss with those who’ve lost a loved one as well and I believe that it will help ease the pain. Sometimes people don’t want to talk about it thats fine. I feel like “expressing myself” and bringing what I had suffered to light – not only did it open up my feelings but I was reminded that who I was around also shared the same experience, which made my healing process more understanding and welcoming, like I wasn’t alone. I think not only should you heal from talking about it but I’m 100% sure it will make you feel so much better – also you will advance emotionally to start accepting what has happened – it will be overall better for your health mentally.
I adopted a pet to keep me company, and I honestly didn’t realize how an animal could have brought so much love and joy into my life, where I once felt pain and loneliness, to adopting a pet that really saved me and helped make my days and my life so much better, and my pet really helped me through my grieving process. Try to volunteer at a local non-profit agency. Take up a new hobby or poetry. Join a support group. Renew old friendships – people you haven’t seen or heard from in a while. Remember it’s important to keep looking ahead, and balancing your activities – stay positive and stay active.
“Don’t wait till death shows up before you start learning how to live”
Put most of your energy toward living for today and planning for your future. It is only things that have caused us great happiness that can also cause us great pain. Today you feel pain, but in your future you will be able to look back and rejoice that “you loved” and was “loved in return”